Sonja K. Pilz, rabbi, author of Food and Fear: Metaphors of Bodies and Spaces in the Stories of Destruction.
A FIERCE PRAYER FOR HEALING
Sonja K. Pilz
I can do this,
Just as Sarah carried her baby in an aging body
I will get through this,
Just as Rebecca stretched her back and arms one more time to reach the water
I will heal from this,
Just as Rachel’s body opened to a sweet new welcome after a time of seclusion
I will see clearly through my tears,
As many did.
I will not give up, ever,
Just as Miriam set one foot in front of the other in the midst of the mud.
I will return and return to my labor,
Like Ruth, I will not miss the slightest chance.
I will discern calmly,
Just as Dvorah did, sitting under her palm tree,
I will fight fiercely,
Just as Judith and Esther did
I will survive, I will sing new songs of beauty
Just as any nameless woman, an ancestor,
Who lived through her cycle of pain and losses,
And then rose up.
I have one of you next to me, at any time and step, sisters,
Holding my hands, back, and head; holding me upright,
Whispering, mumbling, “never give up.”
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S’LICHOT: ENOUGH?
Sonja K. Pilz
Enough. This year has been my first one as a mother
I did so much
Most of it never mattered
Because nothing compares.
I did not call back a friend for five months.
I forgot many birthdays.
I suddenly know so much better
Where my personal responsibility ends.
I am afraid for the life of this baby.
Fires eat up land and sky.
A virus travels quietly through the air.
My husband doesn’t like our water.
Forgive me, for not always showing up.
Forgive me, for not knowing how to better protectyou.
Forgive me, for littering and spoiling the earth.
Forgive me, for lacking in patience and love.
I am here, in love, in fear,
Regrets widening my chest,
Holding the hands of my podmates,
Stretching toward the new year.