Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:
I’m got into trouble at work because I fell in love with a girl there and was too shy to say anything. Then I wrote her a kind of erotic note. She felt it was harassment and passed it over to the boss. It was really more of a poem praising her from head to foot. No bad words, just saying how beautiful every part of her was. I am in my early 20s and my boss said she’ll forgive me for being unprofessional as long as she can give this woman the assurance nothing like this will happen again. The girl has already had her desk moved so she doesn’t face me. I feel like a jerk. Should I go over to her and apologize in person for being a weirdo? — The Idiotic Poet
From the Winnipeg Free Press:
Dear Poet: If you go over to her in person, she will feel pressured and get you fired. If there are five steps to love, romance and commitment with her, you skipped one to four and gave her a poem that was only suitable between lovers. Notes from non-intimates are freaky. Shyness is never an excuse to pass a romantic missive to someone who doesn’t know you. Next time follow these steps to romance: You have to 1) say hello 2) become friendly 3) ask a person out 4) establish a real relationship BEFORE you write erotic poetry. For now, you can discreetly let it get back to her through a friend at work that you feel like a fool and wish you hadn’t embarrassed the girl. Let that pal tell her you won’t be bothering her again, and she can relax.
— © Poetry Foundation, September 21, 2010, by Maureen Scurfield