"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." — George Carlin, American comedian, born 1937
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood." — George Carlin, American comedian, born 1937
"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going." — George Carlin, American comedian, born 1937
"What is your greatest regret? Having wasted nine perfectly good years in school." — George Carlin, American stand-up comedian, born 1937
"'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?" — George Carlin, American comedian, born 1937
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." — George Carlin, American stand-up comedian, born 1937
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." — George Carlin, American comedian, born 1937
"Life is available to anyone no matter what age. All you have to do is grab it." — Art Carney, American actor, born 1918
"You never really feel somebody's suffering. You only feel their death." — Art Carney, American actor, born 1918
"There are so many heroes just walking around in everyday life. It blows me away." — Charisma Carpenter, American actress, born 1970
"I am at awe with trucks on the road as well as gas stations in the middle of nowhere––so much open space outside of the cities. I am a friendly invader, a city kid enjoying the middle of nowhere." — Erick Carrington, American photographer, born 1995
"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." — Lewis Carroll, English author, born 1832
"But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here." — Lewis Carroll, English author, born 1832