"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse." — Lily Tomlin, American comedian, born 1939
"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework." — Lily Tomlin, American comedian, born 1939
"Twice in life the portal opens up between the spiritual and material worlds. At death, when the earth opens up to receive its own. And at birth, when the womb opens up to deliver a new life." — The Torah
"After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him." — Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor, died January 16, 1957
"God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way." — Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor, born March 25, 1867
"After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter." — Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor, born March 25, 1867
"I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since." — Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor, born March 25, 1867
"Marriage is a dinner that begins with dessert." — Toulouse-Lautrec, French painter, born November 24, 1864
"Only the human figure exists; landscape is, and should be, no more than an accessory; the painter exclusively of landscape is nothing but a bore." — Toulouse-Lautrec, French painter, born November 24, 1864
"I had placed my stick on the table, as I do every evening. It had been specially made to suit my height, to enable me to walk without too much difficulty. As I was standing up, a customer called to me: 'Monsieur, don't forget your pencil.' It was very unkind, but most funny." — Toulouse-Lautrec, French painter, born November 24, 1864
"It's the singer not the song that makes the music move along." — Pete Townshend, English rock musician, born 1945